Fractured Healing
by Lady Audentium
Summary: Manga 820 spoilers! Having been forcibly removed from his imposed solitude, Marco must now deal with the Straw Hat crew as they pre-emptively party their victory against one of the most powerful men in the New World. What's worse is he is still haunted by the memory of his own crew that they remind him of so much it hurts. Co-written with ladeste. Complete
**Spoilers for manga Chapter 820!**

 **The ending for a story that I co-wrote with ladeste. If you haven't already read her story then that would probably be the better place to start as this is the unofficial ending to hers.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"I thought you might like something to drink." Said Robin as hands grew out of the wood of the railing that Marco was leaning against. He stared at the hand holding the bottle of sake with mild surprise before turning to the woman leaning beside him. She had a gentle smile on her face that said she understood his pain. Only grunting in response, he took the offered bottle and pulled out the cork that had been keeping it sealed. The bitter liquor burned on its way down his throat, but it was a familiar taste. It brought back memories of happy times and suddenly Marco found he was having a hard time swallowing. "Do you like it?" she asked and the Phoenix put the bottle down to look at it more closely.

"Where did you get this?" he asked before he could stifle the curiosity. The woman in question didn't answer directly but smiled with her eyes closed and chuckled softly.

"I have my sources." Was her vague response and he grunted in return. Although it was nearly drowned out by the commotion that occurred.

"OI LUFFY! WHERE DID MY BOOZE GO?!" screamed a voice from the center deck where the majority of the Straw Hat crew was partying. They were prematurely celebrating the alliance of Marco to their team to fight Kaido.

"They are quite rowdy aren't they?" Robin noted while Marco watched the green swordsman beating up his captain who he blamed for the loss of his alcohol. The captain in question was merely taking the hits and not putting up much of a fight until the food he had in his hands suddenly became endangered. The brawl continued until the blonde cook stepped in and put a permanent end to things. It was amazing how similar the antics were to his old crew. Booze stealing was a common thing if you weren't paying enough attention.

"Yeah." He replied before uncorking the bottle and taking several long drinks. The liquor burned his throat on the way down but he had to admit, the swordsman had good taste, it was quality sake. Marco glanced back at the black haired woman who was still watching the scene below with mild amusement. "So are you here to try and convince me to join your foolish plan of action?"

"No," she smiled that same enigmatic smile, "I just came to offer you a beverage Phoenix-san. Especially since our captain would never think to offer such a thing." The blonde blinked in surprise when she denied having any ulterior motives, but he'd heard stories of this woman. She was very cunning and intelligent so he couldn't afford to let his guard down around her. Her gaze switched to the horizon where she stared at the point where the water met the sky. "It sure is a beautiful night isn't it? There's no moon so we can see the stars perfectly."

"I guess," Marco replied as he took another long gulp of sake. Once he saw the beauty in the stars. One of his favorite things used to be flying among them. Up in the air with nothing but empty air around him with the starry heavens above brought him indescribable peace. Now all he felt was the emptiness of the wind that constantly blew.

"You know I used to hate looking at the night's sky." The raven haired woman spoke, and despite what he wanted to believe, Marco was listening, "It used to remind me of the home I lost and how those horrible memories would revisit me while I slept." She tilted her head back a bit further and closed her eyes, "Some say that the stars are the people we've lost watching over us from the afterlife. I could never believe that no matter how many times I heard it from different people. It felt like a foolish way to hang onto the memory of a loved one. For years I stuck to that belief and dreading every night because I knew it would mean the stars would come back out." Robin turned to face him, "But then I met Luffy and suddenly the stars that had always made me feel so lonely before seemed to glitter happily for me. I'd finally found people to replace the emptiness the loss of my home had left."

"That's great for you." Marco found himself disappointed in the tale and wished he hadn't been listening with such attention. He took several more gulps from the now significantly emptier bottle.

"My point is: no matter how bad things may seem right now, you can't allow yourself to give up because they always get better. You may have experienced great loss, but sooner or later you'll regain it and be happier than ever before." She glanced down to the idiots who were still partying like they'd already won and smiled happily.

"Nothing can replace what I've lost." Marco replied miserably and turned to walk to the other side of the ship where he could hopefully be alone. Solitude was something he'd become used to over the years and now it was the only place he was comfortable. Surrounded by such loud people overwhelmed him to the point of lashing out violently. Leaning on the railing he watched the water wash by the ship as it sailed across the ocean. As he stared into the black water, he remembered why he'd secluded himself inland rather than on a boat.

The pull of the sea was strong. It promised a released from his living hell. A permanent solutions to all of his problems. All he had to do was slip over the edge. It would be so easy. Just lean forward. A little more…

More…

He could feel himself slipping…

His weight being pulled down…

There…

Freedom…

A hand grabbing his shirt and pulling him back on deck immediately snapped him out of his trance.

"Whoa hey what do you think you're doing?" asked a familiar voice and Marco turned around to see none other than Thatch standing with a disappointed look on his square face. His brows were furrowed in the middle and his lips were turned into a frown that looked strange upon his usually happy features. Marco's surprise lasted for only a second before he snapped back to reality.

"This isn't real. You're dead. You've been dead for years." Marco looked down at the drink bottle in his hand, "Robin must have drugged this." Thatch laughed heartily in response and Marco felt a knot inside himself release at the sound of a laugh he hadn't heard in so long. He wished that this moment would never end and he could listen to his old friend's laugh for eternity.

"If I'm not real, then how did I save you from falling into the ocean just now?" the taller man asked rhetorically and the blonde had no answer as he stared into his comrade's face doing his best to memorize every feature before the alcoholic induced illusion faded away. "You've been hurt Marco." He changed the subject and the smile fell from his face in exchange for a sympathetic stare.

"I can't get hurt, regenerative powers remember?" he spat spitefully, and Thatch shook his head sadly. Reaching out a hand he touched Marco with two fingers on his chest.

"No, this is an injury of the heart and that's something that even Marco the Phoenix can't heal with his blue flames." Stated Thatch and the blonde man felt the familiar chest pain that throbbed with every beat of his heart. His throat swelled up and made it hard to breathe.

"I miss everyone so much but I don't deserve them and they deserve better than me. I couldn't protect any of them. I couldn't even protect Pops!" at the last admission, Marco fell to his knees with his hands over his face and for the first time in years he cried. Truly sobbed. Tears streamed down his face and in fat blobs, plopped onto the deck beneath him.

"But it was never your job to protect Pops, it was always his job to protect us." The brown haired man replied easily. As he knelt down to his brother's level and placed a comforting hand on his head. The Phoenix user cherished the feeling and grasped his hand as hard as he could. Feeling the warm hand beneath his own brought him a peace that he'd been missing for longer than he could remember. The tightness in his chest continued to lessen as he sat with his brother's hand comforting him just by resting on his hair.

"But I couldn't protect the rest of them." Marco lamented and he could feel Thatch's smile in the air around him as it felt like a great weight was being lifted from his shoulders.

"Well, we all fall sometimes, but what matters is if we can get up or not." He stood back up to his full height and with the hand that was on Marco's head he holds it out as an offering, "So Marco, are you ready to get up?" a second or two pass before the Phoenix takes a tight hold of his brother's hand with new determination, Thatch smiles widely, white teeth flashing in the limited light, "That's the spirit, now go for it and don't look back!" With that sentiment, Thatch pulled with all his might and hoisted Marco up.

Landing suddenly on his feet, the Whitebeard Commander looked around to find himself standing alone where he'd fallen asleep on the deck of the Strawhat's ship. Footsteps up the stair alerted him to the presence of the blonde cook.

"Oh you're awake, good, do you want me to show you to your quarters? He asked politely and Marco looks confused for a second as he tries to regain his bearings. A deep breath in helped to clear his head and when there was no sharp stab of pain like usual he was surprised but he felt lighter than he could ever remember feeling. For the first time in far too long a genuine smile graced his lips,

"Yeah, thanks." He replied and with a glance at the sky that no longer seemed quite so empty he followed the cook down.


End file.
